Post by skyler hanson on Apr 5, 2009 17:53:22 GMT -5
skyler andrew hanson!
[/color][/font]WON'T HESITATE NO MORE
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TO BE CHILL BUT YOU'RE SO HOT
[/color][/font]THAT I MELTED I FELL RIGHT THROUGH THE CRACKS AND NOW I'M TRYING
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"well hey hey sexy people, the name's skyler andrew hanson, but most people
just call me skyler. i was welcomed into this fine world on january 28, 1992,
which would make me about seventeen years old. obviously i'm a male, and
i'm hella proud of it too! i'm also very proud to be straight, so if
you don't like it, you can go suck it! a lot of people tend to tell me that i really do
look a whole lot like jesse mccartney. i think it's mostly because of my blond
hair and my totally heart breaking green eyes. but what really makes me sexy is
my sly smirk and ripped body. oh...and did i mention that i'm living it up as senior.
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nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention
[/color][/font][/i]i reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some but i won't hesitate no more[/font]
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"football, music, the steelers football team, ipods, american eagle, basketball, sports in general, motorcycles, cars, bubble gum, texting, eating, pizza, hamburgers, history, jokes, talking, getting to know people, dressing in a tux, showing off, pickles, chips, wendy's frosty shakes, music, the clash, the fray, the movie happy gilmore, remember the titans, chocolate, birthdays, ice cream cakes, food, working out, running, track, good memories."
AND NOT SO MUCH?
"graveyards, bad memories, vanilla, lacrosse, stereotypical people, superficial people, school, homework, perfection, the word cancer, burning cd's, anorexia, overly skinny girls, notebooks, books in general, harry potter, twilight, racism, homophobics, phobias in general, hilary duff, not having my cell phone, broken glass, the name taylor, emotional pain, mojita mint gum, fevers, being sick, slutty girls, bananas, fake people, being told i can't do something, guns, suicide, the thoughts of suicide, rape."
WHAT GET'S TO YOU, SCAREDY CAT?
"this is probably going to sound completely and utterly stupid. death. i know people say you should embrace the fact that some day you're going to die, but i find that really hard to do. that's like embracing the fact that the person you love the most is dead. it's harder to take in the fact that somebody else is dead then the fact that you're going to die some day. but i don't know, it not so much scares me as worries me because i never know when it's going to happen. i don't know when i'm going to die. i could die right now while i'm being interviewed. that would hurt so many people. and i don't mean that as in everybody loves me, really, because they don't. but i know a few people that it would hurt."
"i'm afraid to lose people. no, i'm afraid i will lose people. not only with just death, but also with me hurting them. i tend to not think before i speak. so i just let the words flow, and if they hurt someone? oh well. but then later i remember that person was important and i start freaking out. so then i try to apologize, and hopefully the person forgives me. i wouldn't blame them if they didnt, but you know. it's just nice to have somebody who's always gonna be there and will forgive you when you're a stupid fuck."
"i don't think i'll make it. you know, everyone has dreams. i have a dream to become a professional football player. but i doubt it'll ever happen. i wish that wasn't true. i sound so negative in this, i'm not that much of a negative person. that doesn't really answer the question. my fear is that i'll become some low life loser instead of making it big and making my dreams come true. and if that ever happens, i'll kill myself. i'd rather die than be worthless."
WHAT'S YOUR DREAM COME TRUE?
"my dream come true? oh, it can't come true. but i guess my dream is to become a professional football player."
WHAT ARE YOUR HABITS , GOOD AND BAD?
"i have a tendency to talk about her too much. she was just so amazing. her blond curly hair, long and flowy down her back, her crisp blue eyes that would stare directly into my green ones, her full bright smile.. see? i did it right there. bad habit."
"i brush my teeth. all the time. good habit."
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?
"i'm not over it. and i don't think i ever will be."
(better explanation in the history)
GOT A FAVORITE MEMORY?
"i've told this story so many times. i love it. and i love telling it, because it reminds me of all the good times with tay. she was just so tiny, even if she was my age. she was five foot, with spiral curly blond hair. she despised it so, but i just loved it. i love tugging on the springy little curls, and twirling them around my finger. her eyes were a dark blue, crisp as the air in the autumn. i always pushed the little curls out of her eyes. i'd lift her up in the air and just hold her tight to me, considering i was a good seven or eight inches taller than her. i'd tickle her, i'd put her back on her feet, and she'd grab onto me like if i let go of her, she'd let go of life.
but that's not the story. my bad habit seemed to kick in for a moment. i just talk about her so much. and sometimes i don't want to talk about her because it hurts too much, but it just happens. anyway, here goes nothing. taylor victoria morgan, or as i liked to call her; tay. i had known her my whole life. or most of it. we were best friends from kindergarten on. we fought like cats and dogs, but it was okay because she was always there for me. i wasn't known as skyler hanson, i was known as skyler & taylor. we were just always together, and on may fifth of 2005, i realized that i was completely head over heels for taylor morgan.
may fifth was the best day of my life. it was the eigth grade farewell dance, and she had said she'd go as my 'date'. but we had only planned on it to be as friends. i walked in with the tiny girl on my huge muscular arm, both of our smiles from ear to ear. we hung out by the snack table, we talked most of the time. we weren't big dancers. but when a slow song came on, she stood up, reaching my eye level while i was standing, and she took my hand. tyler hanson, come dance with me. please?
i remember the song so plainly. it was you and me by lifehouse. i pulled her close to me and she got on her tip toes, her hands around my neck. she was on her tip toes, so i figured why not just lift her? i lifted her up a bit, and she giggled wrapping her arms around my neck and putting her head on my shoulder. so maybe we weren't exactly dancing, i was more like holding her and she was laying on me like a father and a daughter. but this was a stronger connection. i remember her lifting her head and looking me right in the eyes before planting that life changing kiss on my lips. it was the best kiss of my life, even if we were only thirteen years old. once she had finished kissing me, i placed her back on her feet and got down on her eye level.
i love you, skyler andrew."
THE WORST?
"april 26 of 2008."
WHAT ABOUT PET PEEVES?
"i hate people who tap their fingers when they're anxious. it just annoys me to no end."
HOW STRONG ARE YOU?
"i'd like to think i'm pretty strong. i can withstand anything as long as i've got addie.right now, she's not only my step-sister, but she's my best friend."
EVERYONE HAS A WEAKNESS ...
"i cannot stand to see other people cry. it makes me want to cry. and it makes me want to just hold them and rock them until they're fine."
HOW'S YOUR HYMEN, METAPHORICALLY OR NOT?
"i'm not a virgin, taylor was my first and only experience with sexual intercourse."
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i'm yours; well open up your heart and see like me
[/color][/font][/i]open up your plans and damn you're free look into your heart and you'll find
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"i don't read."
FAVORITE MOVIE?
"happy gilmore."
FAVORITE MEMBER OF NSYNC?
"i hate nsync."
FAVORITE FOOD?
"pizza."
FAVORITE TYPE OF BUBBLE GUM?
"hmm, the yellow kind from 5. it's called lush i think."
FAVORITE COLOR?
"blue. but not bright blue, like navy."
FAVORITE TV SHOW?
"that 70's show."
FAVORITE NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?
"pepsi."
FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE?
"hard lemonade."
FAVORITE TIME OF DAY?
"almost dark."
FAVORITE HOLIDAY?
"christmas."
FAVORITE IDEAL DATE?
"the kind with somebody i love."
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spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
[/color][/i][/font]and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer but my breath fogged up
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"well, my real father isn't in the picture. but my step father is jon tyler, and he's 38 years old. he lives in pittsburgh, and he's a lawyer."
AND HIS BABY MOMMA?
"jennifer tyler, also known as my birth mother. she's given me everything i could ever want. she doesn't work, she's 36 and resides in pittsburgh with my step dad."
WHAT ABOUT THOSE CRAZY SIBLINGS?
"my step sister, addison isabela tyler. she's sixteen years old and goes to school here with me. she's more than just my step sister though, she's my rock. i really take care of her. i love her a lot. she's pretty much my best friend."
WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
pittsburgh, pa.
WHAT'S YOUR LIFE STORY?
"i was born and raised in pittsburgh, pennsylvania. i've always lived here with my mom, but it wasn't until recently that addie & jon moved in with us. i guess you could say i lived a pretty normal life. there were bumps along the way and i got through it. it made me stronger. taylor morgan, the girl i mentioned above was my best friend. she always was. but she had such a dark side to her, she never showed it. it was almost like when she was around me, all of that was gone. she let her guard down. she didn't really talk about the troubles she was having at home.
she lived with her alcoholic father and went to the public school with me. at school, she seemed fine. with me, she seemed fine. but at home? things were totally different. and if she would have told me that i would have taken all her pain away. i would have made sure my taylor had the best life possible. but if she wasn't going to let me in, if she wasn't going to tell me what was really going on, then how could i have fixed it? i still blame myself for all of this. i should have noticed. i should have done something. i should have fixed it all. i'm the worst person on the face of this planet.
i was in love with taylor morgan. i made sure she knew it. i bought her anything she wanted, drenched her with jewelry, took her out every weekend, and on her sixteenth birthday i made love to taylor. i made sure she knew how much i loved her physically, emotionally, and mentally. i wanted all of her. but not just for the physical aspect. you see, taylor and i were more than just in love. we were more than boyfriend and girlfriend. we were best friends, confidants, and soulmates. i think i knew that all along, and with making love to her, i made it all clear. taylor was the only one for me.
taylor had other plans. she had plans that i was completely unaware of. her father was not the man that i thought he was. in fact, i really didn't know her father at all. but she always made sure that i knew he was a good man. he was not a good man, not at all. he was raping her. he was beating her. and i can't believe i couldn't even see that. every time i touched her, she would wince. everytime she was close to me she was different. and i couldn't see that.
what the fuck was wrong with me?
to make a long story short, taylor overdosed on pain killers to committ suicide last april. it'll be a year in a few weeks. i remember being asleep, and i heard addie come running into my room. she shook me as hard as she could and she pounded on me, jumping me awake. she was hysterical. it wasn't like she was best friends with taylor, but addie had been her friend. when i woke up, all i knew was that my baby was in trouble and i had to fix it.
too bad i was too late.
i got to the hospital with jon & addie. my mother wasn't home, who knows what was going on. i sat in the hospital room, my hands linked together in my lap, addie's hands around them. i just concentrated on my hands because if i did anything else, i'd punch the wall. or worse, addie. i didn't want to hurt addie. i had already messed up the love of my life's own life, i didn't want to hurt another girl that meant a lot to me.
i'm sorry, your friend is gone.
my life ended too."
THE SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE?
today is a winding road that's taken me to places that i didn't want to go. today in the blink of an eye, i'm holding onto something and i do not know why i tried. i tried to read between the lines, tried to look in your eyes, i want a simple explanation for what you're feeling inside. i've gotta find a way out. maybe there's a way out.
your voice was the soundtrack of my summer, do you know you're unlike any other? you'll always be my thunder. and i said your eyes are the brightest of all the colors, i don't want to ever love another. you'll always be my thunder, so bring on the rain. and bring on the thunder.
today is a winding road, tell me where to start and tell me something i don't know. today i'm on my own, i can't move a muscle and i can't pick up the phone, i don't know. now i'm itching through the tall grass and longing for the breeze, i need to step outside just to see if i can breathe. i've got to find a way out. maybe there's a way out.
thunder-boys like girls.
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THERE'S NO NEED TO COMPLICATE
[/color][/color][/font][/font]OUR TIME IS SHORT THIS IS OUR FATE I'M YOURS SCOOCH ON CLOSER DEAR[/font]
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hey, what's up? my name is kim and i've been rocking out with
my stunna shades for fourteen years. yeah, i know i'm pretty ill.
and obviously i'm a female, can you dig it? if you wanna get in touch with
me just hit me up by pm is fine. oh, and i gotta have me my admin edit.
If Frankie even had the tiniest hint of an idea of what Anne had gone through over the summer, she would have a lot more mercy, but if Anne wasn’t going to tell everybody and completely ignore them, well Frankie just wouldn’t have that. It wasn’t her decision of course to tell Anne to talk to her, it was just a bit more painful than she had imagined. Frankie figured Anne had seen Colin; they had reunited, and then left Frankie in the dust. It wasn’t her fault that Colin hated her. Actually, it very well could be. Frankie didn’t know that he didn’t hate her. She just felt like the third wheel, and if you wanted to put it in real Frankie terms, she felt like the wheel that fell off the wagon, and Anne and Colin were the wheels in the front that kept on rolling without her. As if that wasn’t depressing enough, Frankie had found her iPod in her pocket and shoved the two ear buds in her ears, letting one of the older pooh bear songs play in her ears.
It was strange how much of a connection Frankie had to the character singing. There were a lot of similarities between herself and Eeyore. He was always so down, as was Frankie. There was so much more comparison between them. He felt that nobody loved him. The phrase ‘thanks for noticing…’ came up a lot in his vocabulary. This phrase appeared a lot in Frankie’s mind. Eeyore’s tail always came off. Frankie, on the other hand, always felt that her self esteem dropped from her system, and she called it the Eeyore effect. Never would she tell any of this to anybody. It sounded too silly to anyone else. Eeyore was like Frankie’s soul mate. They would meet some day; even though he wasn’t real, and that made her feel even worse.
That’s what made Frankie think. If there’s a soul mate for everyone, would hers be just as depressing and upset as she was? Frankie never thought of herself as depressing until she took a look at her thoughts. They were so morbid and sometimes just hurtful in general. She wasn’t suicidal, but sometimes she wished she could just leave this earth without hurting anybody. She had no doubt that she would hurt her family, the small parts of it that cared, like her grandmother. She wasn’t so sure about Anne. Anne was in a different world right now, and maybe for good. But then that’s when Frankie got to thinking, if Anne didn’t care, what only left grandmother. Would she even remember who dear old Francesca was a few years from now?
It was very doubtful. Nobody would remember her. Frankie had never had these kinds of thoughts before, and they were taking over her brain. It was like shock therapy to her chest, her heart pounding quickly. The sound of her heartbeat made her sick. Why wouldn’t it just stop? Stop beating, stop hurting her, and stop hurting others. That’s all she was, hurt towards people. She felt like just her voice was pain to other people. Frankie put her hands over her ears, trying to cover up the sound of her heart trying to beat out of her chest, feeling a panic attack coming on. This was like whenever she was slipping into the deep abyss of depression when she was off of her medication. Her breath was caught in her throat, like her wishes were coming true; like somebody was in there taking up all of the oxygen she had ever taken in. When this type of thing happened, she usually tried to keep her mind off of the thoughts. Was it possibly to die of loneliness?
This thought made her want to cry, because if that was true, she would be dead any second now. Frankie bit down on her bottom lip, trying to push the pain away. Her heartbeat felt like it was right in her ear now, trying to break the barrier of her hand down and get into her brain; trying to drive her into some sort of oblivion that might take her down a road of thoughts and emotions that she had been longing to avoid for such a long time. Before she could let it get any worse, she took a deep breath, letting a bit of oxygen in her lungs. It sounded like someone had just stabbed her in the side, and she was gasping in pain. Well sure, this was pain, but this was emotional pain, and it was something that just wasn’t healed as easy as physical pain was.
There was a song that was stuck in her mind. It played over and over in her mind until it was the only thing she could think about. She had her own therapy. Like in My Girl, when Veta sang Doo Wah Diddy, Frankie had a song to sing when she was over stimulated and full of thoughts she didn’t want. Frankie closed her eyes, and sang her version of Nobody Wants to be my Friend, a song Eeyore had once sang in one of the old Pooh movies. This of course, was nothing like Pooh bear. This was about Frankie and her rat, Chiquita.
“Nobody wants to be my friend, what’s a poor Frankie to do?
Nobody wants to be my friend, except for my rat.
But that’s all, except for my rat, she’s the only one.”
Frankie stopped suddenly, her hands sliding down from her ears. There was Anne. All she had said was hey? That seemed extremely insulting to Frankie, only because they were very close and Frankie hadn’t seen her in months. Had the Rosenbergs gone to some kind of depressing school while they were on summer vacation? They both seemed to be a bit off. Frankie gave her a half smile. ”Uhm, hey.. how was your summer?" This wasn’t the Anne she remembered, and this wasn’t the way she wanted to run into her
my stunna shades for fourteen years. yeah, i know i'm pretty ill.
and obviously i'm a female, can you dig it? if you wanna get in touch with
me just hit me up by pm is fine. oh, and i gotta have me my admin edit.
If Frankie even had the tiniest hint of an idea of what Anne had gone through over the summer, she would have a lot more mercy, but if Anne wasn’t going to tell everybody and completely ignore them, well Frankie just wouldn’t have that. It wasn’t her decision of course to tell Anne to talk to her, it was just a bit more painful than she had imagined. Frankie figured Anne had seen Colin; they had reunited, and then left Frankie in the dust. It wasn’t her fault that Colin hated her. Actually, it very well could be. Frankie didn’t know that he didn’t hate her. She just felt like the third wheel, and if you wanted to put it in real Frankie terms, she felt like the wheel that fell off the wagon, and Anne and Colin were the wheels in the front that kept on rolling without her. As if that wasn’t depressing enough, Frankie had found her iPod in her pocket and shoved the two ear buds in her ears, letting one of the older pooh bear songs play in her ears.
It was strange how much of a connection Frankie had to the character singing. There were a lot of similarities between herself and Eeyore. He was always so down, as was Frankie. There was so much more comparison between them. He felt that nobody loved him. The phrase ‘thanks for noticing…’ came up a lot in his vocabulary. This phrase appeared a lot in Frankie’s mind. Eeyore’s tail always came off. Frankie, on the other hand, always felt that her self esteem dropped from her system, and she called it the Eeyore effect. Never would she tell any of this to anybody. It sounded too silly to anyone else. Eeyore was like Frankie’s soul mate. They would meet some day; even though he wasn’t real, and that made her feel even worse.
That’s what made Frankie think. If there’s a soul mate for everyone, would hers be just as depressing and upset as she was? Frankie never thought of herself as depressing until she took a look at her thoughts. They were so morbid and sometimes just hurtful in general. She wasn’t suicidal, but sometimes she wished she could just leave this earth without hurting anybody. She had no doubt that she would hurt her family, the small parts of it that cared, like her grandmother. She wasn’t so sure about Anne. Anne was in a different world right now, and maybe for good. But then that’s when Frankie got to thinking, if Anne didn’t care, what only left grandmother. Would she even remember who dear old Francesca was a few years from now?
It was very doubtful. Nobody would remember her. Frankie had never had these kinds of thoughts before, and they were taking over her brain. It was like shock therapy to her chest, her heart pounding quickly. The sound of her heartbeat made her sick. Why wouldn’t it just stop? Stop beating, stop hurting her, and stop hurting others. That’s all she was, hurt towards people. She felt like just her voice was pain to other people. Frankie put her hands over her ears, trying to cover up the sound of her heart trying to beat out of her chest, feeling a panic attack coming on. This was like whenever she was slipping into the deep abyss of depression when she was off of her medication. Her breath was caught in her throat, like her wishes were coming true; like somebody was in there taking up all of the oxygen she had ever taken in. When this type of thing happened, she usually tried to keep her mind off of the thoughts. Was it possibly to die of loneliness?
This thought made her want to cry, because if that was true, she would be dead any second now. Frankie bit down on her bottom lip, trying to push the pain away. Her heartbeat felt like it was right in her ear now, trying to break the barrier of her hand down and get into her brain; trying to drive her into some sort of oblivion that might take her down a road of thoughts and emotions that she had been longing to avoid for such a long time. Before she could let it get any worse, she took a deep breath, letting a bit of oxygen in her lungs. It sounded like someone had just stabbed her in the side, and she was gasping in pain. Well sure, this was pain, but this was emotional pain, and it was something that just wasn’t healed as easy as physical pain was.
There was a song that was stuck in her mind. It played over and over in her mind until it was the only thing she could think about. She had her own therapy. Like in My Girl, when Veta sang Doo Wah Diddy, Frankie had a song to sing when she was over stimulated and full of thoughts she didn’t want. Frankie closed her eyes, and sang her version of Nobody Wants to be my Friend, a song Eeyore had once sang in one of the old Pooh movies. This of course, was nothing like Pooh bear. This was about Frankie and her rat, Chiquita.
“Nobody wants to be my friend, what’s a poor Frankie to do?
Nobody wants to be my friend, except for my rat.
But that’s all, except for my rat, she’s the only one.”
Frankie stopped suddenly, her hands sliding down from her ears. There was Anne. All she had said was hey? That seemed extremely insulting to Frankie, only because they were very close and Frankie hadn’t seen her in months. Had the Rosenbergs gone to some kind of depressing school while they were on summer vacation? They both seemed to be a bit off. Frankie gave her a half smile. ”Uhm, hey.. how was your summer?" This wasn’t the Anne she remembered, and this wasn’t the way she wanted to run into her
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