Post by mallory mckenzie on Jun 26, 2009 12:30:34 GMT -5
WHAT IF MY CHANCES WERE ALREADY GONE?
i started believing that i could be wrong
YOU GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON TO FIGHT AND NEVER WALK AWAY
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Mallory truly hadn’t tried to make Noah feel uncomfortable. It was not her intention at all. She noticed how he had gotten tense and his mood seemed to change slightly. Mallory hoped she hadn’t pushed too hard. She hated to be a nag or to even put somebody in an uncomfortable state. It was strange how quickly she wanted to step out of his grip and go back to standing a few feet apart. At the same time, she wished to stay in his arms forever. Mallory remembered the day her mother was rushed to the hospital and they had been told it may be the last time they saw her. They were wrong, obviously, because her mother came back fighting even harder. She remembered sliding down the wall of the hospital, breaking down for the first time in a long while. It seemed like she had pushed everybody away when she was taking care of her mother. Not only that, but she felt responsible for her mother being so ill. Why couldn’t she take care of her better? It wasn’t the only thing she remembered. She remembered warm arms wrapping themselves around her, stroking her hair as Noah had, telling her to calm down and to breathe.
It was a nice change to be in somebody’s arms and not be bawling her eyes out or trying to calm her down out of a panic attack. When her mother was in the prime part of her illness, she remembered that she would get hugs in all different directions. These weren’t the kind of hugs she was getting from Noah. These hugs were the kinds that were begging for comfort and help, when Mallory herself was clawing for that. She remembered the only one who would comfort her would be Landon. She’d go walking to his room in the middle of the night, begging to stay in there with him and he would reluctantly let her. This reminded her so much of him. It scared her, but at the same time felt completely and utterly normal.
She felt bad for giving him the silly little Eskimo kiss. He didn’t seem angered, but she was sure she had made him feel a bit awkward. That was Mallory for you. She was in your face in both ways, physically and mentally. As he commented on her eyes, she felt her heart do something funny. It wasn’t normal for her to get nervous. She felt it sink to her stomach with nerves. It had been a long time since she’d had butterflies in her stomach. Then again, it had been awhile since she’d let herself be this physically close to a boy. She was so afraid she had forgotten to thank him for the compliment. “Really?” She asked softly, letting a small smile appear on her face. “Thanks,” She replied, feeling a little bit better now that she had said something in response.
All of his compliments were overwhelming her. Mallory wasn’t used to it. She’d get the occasional ‘you look nice’ from her mother or father, or even her sister, but from another person outside of her family? It was odd. It wasn’t a strange feeling anymore. In fact, she was becoming quite used to it. She didn’t throw out compliments too much, but getting them sure felt nice. Another thing that was nice was that he didn’t think she was sassy. Not many people did, but she sometimes found herself thinking a bit too highly of herself. It wasn’t a good thing, but it wasn’t a bad thing either. She was proud of herself for not being like every other girl with a bad self-esteem in the world. There had to be some girls that thought good things about themselves in the world.
She chuckled, nodding. “I think you just seem really tall to me since I’m kind of short.” Mallory explained, doing the bang thing again. It was a bad habit, and it annoyed her that she did it, but it was better than biting her nails or slicing her wrists. It did no harm to people. Mallory didn’t really notice when she did it anymore. It was kind of part of her, just like anything else she loved. It went hand in hand with her. She bit down on her bottom lip, breathing a laugh. She looked up at him when he continued to hold her. At least he hadn’t shoved her off of him or anything. That would have been embarrassing.
When he told her she wasn’t rambling, she gave him a half smile. “I try to be real. I don’t want to seem like some fake-ass Barbie doll.” She laughed again, shaking her head. Sometimes she got that from people. She smiled too much, or she was too happy all the time. It had to be fake, right? No, you were wrong if you assumed that Mallory was fake, unless she was having one of her off days and completely channeling out everything else. When he lifted her chin, suddenly she felt scared. She wouldn’t show that, but she could feel the nerves moving through her veins and the butterflies flapping their wings even harder in her stomach.
Mallory was about to protest when his lips met hers. The panic went through her body, but she adjusted to it, hooking her arms around his neck and moving her lips in sync with his. She was absolutely sure that she had probably just given him the worst kiss of his life, since she had no idea how to kiss. Her eyes were shut softly, so it didn’t look like she was trying too hard. When he broke away, she let her nose touch his, the smile on her face looking incredibly nervous. She bit down on her bottom lip, and then grinned at what he had said to her. “I guess I know now.” She stated softly, her eyes looking directly into his.
That was when she decided to try this again. She had to make it seem like she had done this before. So slowly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his again. Mallory made it short and sweet, and then went back to her position with them nose to nose. “Keep a secret?” She asked, breathing a laugh, then adverting her eyes towards his. “That was my first kiss, also known as probably the worst kiss of your life, considering I had no idea what I was doing.” Mallory finished her rant, letting herself ease up a bit. She was tense, but the kind that made her excited. It was a rush.
It was then that the questions started forming in her mind. What did this mean? What if one of her siblings saw? Were they more than friends? She wanted to bang her head off of the wall and make herself forget about all of those things. She was questioning herself more than she was questioning Noah.status finished.
tag noah scott (alyzzer :P)
words 1,163
outfit oh hey, click me!
muse brand new.. etc. i don't remember since i wrote this like four days ago.. xD
copyright mrs. jones @ caution 2.0!
lyrics no boundaries - kris allen.